Mexanese Mumbo Jumbo

The other day I headed out for a friend's bday. It's one of those friends who has like 500 facebook friends and seems to know everyone. Sure, the fact that he's probably related to at least half of them in some way is of little or no consequence, but I was basically expecting to only know about 5 people. Usually I bail on these types of events but for some reason I decided to go.

I arrived a bit late, thanks to a last minute hair styling decision, and found about 30 of our crew already in the restaurant, 3 waitresses looking like they might loose their noodle and various other patrons throwing nasty glares at us. Evidently they weren't given the memo about how we usually take over a restaurant.

Since there were so many of us, tables of 6 were lined up against one wall of the restaurant with very little space in between to walk. If you were the sad soul stuck sitting by the wall, you better have the bladder of a camel because you weren't gonna move any time soon. Not knowing many people, I joined the few friends I did know at a table, and unfortunately blocked in one of the out of towner guests for the better part of 3 hours, forcing him to listen to my badly told stories, awkward jokes and slurry conversation. Good times were had, to be sure.

After dinner was mostly done and people were starting to mingle a bit more, one of the guys at our table turned to me and asked if I'm single. After confirming said status, he promptly asked, "Are you high maintenance?". Now how are you supposed to answer that? Besides, it's a completely subjective topic. What is considered "high maintenance"? A friend of mine takes 1 1/2 hrs to get ready, does that make him high maintenance? (yes that's right, it's a guy).

So not knowing exactly how to answer, I said "No, not really". Next thing you know, he starts talking up his brother. His brother, I might add, who's current opening line when hitting on a girl is: "Hey". Something I reminded this fine young lad of, and advised him that, though I'm not high maintenance, I am gonna need him to say something other than "Hey". His brother then magically appeared and was promptly introduced. I was informed that anything Windows 7 related - he was my man. I'm a Mac girl. Our match just wasn't in the cards. Such a shame.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for being set up by friends, but between the mother wanting to set me up with her son, the next door neighbour who might want a threesome and being introduced to a brother who's best line is "Hey", I think I'm in need of an imaginary (rich and uber hot) boyfriend. Streefy - does Consuelo have any brothers?