Mexanese Mumbo Jumbo

A few months ago I was invited to a Brewmaster's dinner. As a beer lover, how could one turn this dinner down? Having been asked by a lad whom, at the time, I had a crush on, it only seemed appropriate I bring a girl as my date.

So I began my search for my pseudo dinner date by asking all the girls I know that drink beer. Any dinner called "Brewmaster's", it's only natural to assume there will be beer present...4 pints to be specific, per person. I had to be fairly selective with who I invited. My criteria was as follows:

- drink beer
- be a good wingman
- be able to handle 4 beers and not be smashed
- be willing to have 4 beers on a school night

Not outrageous criteria, or so I thought. Slowly all the girls I asked replied with various forms of declination. I got everything from sorry I have plans already to absolutely no response (I secretly think it's payback for using an unwanted nickname on twitter). I decided to reduce my criteria to any girl I know being available on thursday night knowing that should they not like beer, I could easily drink an additional 2 pints and still be semi functional the next day (and being 5ft nothing 6 pints of beer is quite the feat). Still no one was available.

I then decided to give up on my gender criteria and asked all my guy friends that are in serious relationships or married. Still no one was available. So I finally gave up all criteria in general and asked the rest of my guys friends, which considering I have quite a few, I thought would have been a shoe-in. Turns out that I don't know as many people as I think I do, because not one of them was available to go. Course the fact that I gave them less than a day's notice probably didn't help. Oops.